10 things scientist might find in Lake Vostok

Russian scientists in Antarctica are close to breaching Lake Vostok, a body of water buried 12,000 feet below the polar ice cap that has been sealed for an estimated 15 million years. Vostok, the largest in a network of sub-glacial lakes, may contain fantastic new life forms and offer new theories on how life might have developed on earth, as well as other planets with deep water reserves like Jupiter’s moons.

After 15 million years of isolation, the Ruskies are bound to find some wild stuff. Here’s our best guesses:

The secret inhabitants of Lake Vostok

10. The Lindberg Baby.

9. A race of intelligent sub-arctic Mer-men.

8. Crab People.

7. The remote.

6. A civilization-ending super virus.

5. The Phantom of the Opera.

4. Your dog that ran away.

3. True love.

2. Enough change for the bus.

1. My goddamn car keys.

The results of our office betting pool will be posted next week.